Cows

Last night, I dreamed that I was in a mall or something, and I was trying to talk to some guy, when all of a sudden he started yelling at me. And he wasn't just yelling anything, he was mooing, and as loud as possible. And I was like, "Um, hello? Trying to have a conversation, here. Stop mooing!" But he was all, "MOO!"

When something stupid or scary or bad or frightening or annoying happens in a dream, I usually know that it's a dream, so I try to wake up. I did as such on this occasion, only it didn't work! I was in my bed, and there was still mooing.


You see, my parents live in almost the middle of nowhere, in the beautiful Rocky Mountains of Colorado. There's a dirt road in front of their house with nothing across it but a large grassy hill where someone's cows roam frequently during the summer months. After a few moments, I realized that I was awake, and that there was actually a fucking cow outside of my window, mooing. I have no idea why it was mooing, nor why it was doing so as loudly as it was, but mooing it was. I wanted to kill it and have a nice hamburger right there, in front of all of the cow's friends, like, "See what happens when you moo at me all morning!!!"