Healthy, Clean, and Organized!

***Prologue: Today's post is about a rare occurrence in my life. Never before have these three words come together in one day all at once.

This morning, I woke up and (after looking at the internet for a while) went for a walk with Belle. It was just in the neighborhood, and it was just short of a mile, but I did it without any complaining or procrastinating. Hopefully, this phenomenon will continue throughout the school year.

So far today, I have not overloaded myself with sweet things, either! Yay! I am experiencing a random burst of motivation! Maybe I can be healthy this year! I gained a lot of wait my freshman year of college because of the "All you care to eat" dining halls on campus. I care to eat everything, thank you. I also didn't exercise as much. But the thing is, I didn't notice until it was too late! In high school I did marching band and then winter guard, which didn't feel like exercise because it was outrageously fun and rewarding, even excluding the healthiness. So, without those activities I went on normally with my habits, and I ballooned! Only slightly, I am not HUGE, I don't want you to have a distorted image of me.

After my walk, I decided to take a shower. Actually, I didn't decide, I had to take a shower; I was all sweaty from my walk in the morning sun. Normally, our shower is absolutely freezing cold or holy hell hot. But on today's rarest of special mornings, it was a nice warm temperature, and thus I actually was able to put in an effort to clean myself without crying! I even shaved my legs! Both of them! And it has been a long time, so I really needed the opportunity. I would have shaved them sooner, but the drain in the tub won't plug either, so it wouldn't fill with water and I couldn't shave them that way. I would have had to freeze or melt.



After my glorious shower I put real clothes on! Something other than my one of two denim shorts and a tee shirt. And I blow-dried my hair, too. That picture at the top is me all clean and shiny! Yes, it does curl on that side by itself.

Erm, so yeah, feel pretty good today. Please don't think I'm self-absorbed and stop reading my blog. This probably won't happen again.

Cows

Last night, I dreamed that I was in a mall or something, and I was trying to talk to some guy, when all of a sudden he started yelling at me. And he wasn't just yelling anything, he was mooing, and as loud as possible. And I was like, "Um, hello? Trying to have a conversation, here. Stop mooing!" But he was all, "MOO!"

When something stupid or scary or bad or frightening or annoying happens in a dream, I usually know that it's a dream, so I try to wake up. I did as such on this occasion, only it didn't work! I was in my bed, and there was still mooing.


You see, my parents live in almost the middle of nowhere, in the beautiful Rocky Mountains of Colorado. There's a dirt road in front of their house with nothing across it but a large grassy hill where someone's cows roam frequently during the summer months. After a few moments, I realized that I was awake, and that there was actually a fucking cow outside of my window, mooing. I have no idea why it was mooing, nor why it was doing so as loudly as it was, but mooing it was. I wanted to kill it and have a nice hamburger right there, in front of all of the cow's friends, like, "See what happens when you moo at me all morning!!!"

Here I am, Trying to Start a Good Blog, and I Get a Nosebleed

I was reading Hyperbole and a Half, because I figure if I read maybe thirty to fifty posts a day I'll get funnier, when I started to feel my nose get really hot inside, then I dripped all over myself. My first concern was for my computer, because I'm poor, and those cost a lot and should stay clean. My second concern was for my clothes because I'm poor and those cost a lot and should stay clean because the stain won't come out and I don't want to have to buy more clothes.

You see, the problem with my nose is that it is really good at starting to bleed. It just has to learn when to stop. I got some tissue and stuck it in there, which has worked lately for getting the bleeding to stop, only this time, it just kept going! So I switched tissues, and stuck it up in my nostril even farther, and it finally stopped coming out of my nose. And commenced to run down my throat, and thus into my mouth. Of course, I have a fear of my bloody noses running into my mouth and staining my teeth red. So I swallowed the blood, and down it went, into my stomach, and blood in my stomach always makes me feel sick.

And that was that.

One time, in middle school, I had a bloody nose, so I stuffed it with tissue, and then a couple minutes later, the other side of my nose started breathing, so I stuffed that side with tissue, too. So now I had to breathe through my mouth. And of course the blood ran down my throat and into my mouth, as usual, and I couldn't breathe at all! I ran to my dad for help and started sputtering and choking through my blood that I couldn't breathe and that I had a bloody nose. He told me to calm down and just let the blood go out my nose over the sink. Okay....